Religion Corner
Piedmont Post
December 3, 2008
by Rev. Lois Mueller
Between July 1st and November 8th I officiated at six weddings -- quite a few considering that I was on sabbatical for three months! It was an honor to be involved in these unique and beautiful ceremonies. The individuals are all mature, committed, compassionate people and very much in love.
The spouses of couple #1 are about fifty years old without children. One had been married before.
The spouses of couple #2 are in their sixties. They have five adult children and eight grandchildren between them from prior marriages.
The spouses of couple #3 are in their fifties and have four adult children and three grandchildren between them. They reunited after being involved many years ago.
The spouses of couple #4 are also in their fifties. One spouse has an adult son from a prior marriage. Together they have two preschool children that they have fostered and subsequently adopted.
The spouses of couple #5 are forty and fifty years old. This is a first marriage for each.
The spouses of couple #6 are in their thirties. Both have been married before and one has middle school children.
I have a quiz for you. There are 3 heterosexual couples and 3 same-gender loving couples among the six couples. Which is which? I would bet that you can’t guess. In fact, there is nothing that distinguishes these couples from each other except for gender. All of the individuals are productive members of society. They are teachers, a nurse, a social worker, clergypersons, musicians, a development director, a stay-at-home mom and more. They have been in their relationships from two to twenty years.
I am optimistic about the future of all of these marriages. They’ve all entered this sacred covenant with reverence and deep reflection. They communicate well about the things that matter. They are grateful for their spouses and treat each other with kindness and consideration. They all extend their circle of love outward, nurturing their bonds with the extended family and friends beyond themselves. We as a society are enriched by the loving, faithful commitment of all of these marriages. The three heterosexual couples don’t believe their marriages are in any way diminished or threatened by the same-sex marriages.
I’m distressed that we in California passed Proposition 8 that legalized discrimination against some of our citizens and questions these blessed loving unions. Despite loud claims that “it’s always been this way,” the modern institution of marriage is a fairly recent phenomenon. Biblical figures had multiple wives as well as concubines. For much of human history marriage have been consummated for political and financial alliances more than human love and fidelity. Until relatively recently. wives were widely considered the property of their husbands. During much of Christian history, marriage was a civil act rather than a religious institution.
The Hebrew biblical scholar Walter Brueggemann reminds us of Martin Luther’s conviction that we must make a distinction between the Gospel and the Bible. Additionally, in reflecting on another Martin Luther (King’s) famous quote, “the moral arc of the universe bends toward justice” Brueggemann adds, “the moral arc of the gospel bends toward inclusion.” Proposition 8 may be a set back in the quest for full respect for our same-gender loving families but it is only temporary. Someday the moral arc will bend toward justice and inclusion.